Moving Blogs

I have enjoyed starting to blog again. It is a fun thing and I hope you enjoyed the blog. I have moved locations to another blog based on the audience and topics that I enjoy. If you wish to continue to read my tid bits of randomness, I will still be writing. You may hop over here.

http://the-cause-and-effect.blogspot.com/

or

http://thecauseandeffect.tk/

There you can sign up via connect, gmail, email or if you have another idea - I will add the widgets so anyone can review.

Best wishes - Joe

Don't feed the bears

It is a simple concept really. We have all heard someone talk about it, a cartoon poke fun at it, or have viewed a park sign exclaiming it. "DON'T FEED THE BEARS!" They are not cute and cuddly as Teddy has been depicted for years. They are actually creatures that are predators nearing the top of their food chain which kill, even people, when threatened or encountered in the wrong setting(s). The truth about feeding bears is that you are simply saying,"Hey, come here for food." The animals will repeat with reward. Pavlov had an entire scientific breakthrough with this.

So Joe, how do bears have anything to do with ME? Everything. We are creatures that take the least path of resistance. We will take the solution where we have to exert minimal effort for maximum reward if left to our sole unintelligible desires. We will call the person who gives us the answers. When is the last time you borrowed money from the same person... and then again... and so on. Going deeper: did you have something that was not "good" or "legal" but was satisfying and available?

Or perhaps the XYZ Store at the mall has a sale every week and they give you rewards when you visit them good for the following week. They do not even have to do that. The retailers have also been paying attention. Each week - like clockwork - they have a new ad. New specials. Come to the campground. But what happens when suddenly the food stops. The sale has loop holes. The money is not there. The "good" thing is not available. We change - often for the worse. (If you have ever worked in retail, you get it.) The things being offered are not there, yet we arrived. WE ARRIVED - now where is it? Give it to me! I paid for blank blank blank and expect blah blah blah.

We are all bears. Please stop feeding us.

I have another article along the same topic involving silent leadership which is very similar but deals with lack of action vs. rewards.

10 Turkey Leftover Ideas

I did not have a lot of time this week but thought that saving money while making your holiday meal go further would be beneficial!

1. Next Day Turkey Soup
2. My Crispy Mashed Potato Pancake
3. Tastes Like Thanksgiving Casserole 
4. Hot Turkey Sandwich
5. Creamy Parmesan Turkey Sauce With Country Ham and Peas
6. Crispy Turkey Bacon
7. Cajun Turkey Pot Pie
8. Spicy Turkey Soup with Yogurt, Chickpeas, and Mint
9. Turkey and Mashed Potato Potpies
10. Turkey, Sweet Potato, and Watercress Salad

Young Bird Dogs

There will be many things that come your way in life that sound great. So great, in fact, that you want to jump on the idea. The next step is the defining moment. A bird dog in his or her career (well it is) faces this same thing every hunt but the defining moments are based on the age, training and overall experience of the dog. The younger bird dog will go after the first set of birds and then if another set were to raise jump at those losing some control in the situation. Everything is an opportunity worth hunting! The older bird dog takes a group and patently stalks until the right opportunity. The veteran is not distracted until the right moment - regardless of other set backs along the way, such as a neighboring group stir...

We too, do this. Sometimes the most amazing offers will come your way. It is OK to pass if it does not feel right. It will not be the only thing amazing to every happen to you again. The house that seems perfect but a little out of your range, is just that - out of your range. Whatever your situation, remember the "new" will fade. Once that does - would it still be the right decision?

Doctor Syndrome

Consider your audience. Regardless if it is your colleagues, subordinates, family or children. We have each had an experience of going to the doctor and during the diagnosis this long Latin / scientific verbiage spews from their lips... A doctor could scare you into thinking that a hang nail is a terminal condition. Doc, just tell me I have a cold - it's going to suck, my throat is sore, and some bacteria is in my nose; and hopefully that I will be fine after this...and that... I trust you regardless or how you say it as long as you help me in the right direction.

How do you encourage others or explain things? Are you perceptive of their situation? Do you consider the environment or scenario when conveying the message? When a child asks a question do you break it down so they can understand? Are you sensitive to the situation if need be? When they are hurt because they did something that they shouldn't are you the comforter first, then the corrector?

I have found myself guilty of forgetting the who and where I am when dealing with the what.

God Bless - Joe

Swishy Pants and a Fishing Pole

Do you have an event in your childhood that stands out and now when something triggers it a flood of memories stream through your mind? I have two really. One of mine will always be snow; sledding down the hills at my Grandparent's house. I had the "swishy" coverall pants that you could get some distance in. I remember I would step back from the hill and then jump sliding down on my knees or rear end. I ruined so many sets of the coveralls that way. I used a sled too - but that was missing something :).

I also remember falling asleep on the long car ride to the lake that my father picked out. We would get to the dock and set the boat in the water while it was still dark. I remember floating on the shore casting along the banks by the docks until the sky would change. The pink and orange colors on the horizon are still very vivid in my mind. The cold water on the fishing lines and the dew on the boat.

What memories are you sharing now that later will be memory triggering events? It does not have to be Disney World or even an expensive vacation. In fact, I do not remember any of that stuff. When I think of my childhood and search for what joys I remember as a kid - that is it. Simple.

"Today is yesterday's tomorrow." ~ Anon.

God Bless - Joe

Parental Fashion Curse

I had a pair of JNCO's. OK that was a tiny fib... I had several. Including the 42" around the feet ones that two people rightfully could have worn. I even "sagged" my pants a little. By a little I mean I shown my boxers a bit and let them (the pants) ride on my hip bones before tightening my belt. I wore black. I was gothic. I wore make up. Yes that even included black nail polish. I am tattooed, with my first inking at age 16. What the hell was I thinking? I know now, what my parents felt like.

The 80's should have never been. Boys wearing girls jeans is not cool. Tapered jeans and ginormous shoes are seriously sick... and by sick I am not referring to the modern lingo that someone used to create a paradoxal meaning or some odd sense of an oxymoron calling it "freedom of speech." I think every parent will live this curse. Just saying...

Baby Wearing (babywearing): Hands free!

It is painful to put a child on your back or chest. The discomforts can be seen by both the man and child in this picture. Obviously, by the strain on their faces, they must be miserable. Such an odd concept, wearing your children - horrific.

The idea of baby wearing has been around for some time. The modern Western Culture tends to prefer a stroller or even the car seat aka "baby bucket." Many other countries in the world prefer this method and some cultures treat this as a very natural occurrence  it is just the way you do things.

For mothers who are breast feeding this can be a very good way to nurse your newborn or child. Depending on the carrier, and your comfort, many are built to allow nursing in any setting [although it should be acceptable to nurse anywhere anyway ;) ].

In no way does the wearing of a child set you back, or de-civilize you. It actually can be very useful and comfortable; not to mention that the bonding time from being held (attachment parenting) is amazing. As a father, some of my best trips out have been carrying / wearing my children. There are a variety of options as well. The most versatile would be a wrap form - such as the Mobi listed below; I prefer the Ero, myself.

To the right, in my widget scrolling - you can see several examples of carriers or click below.

They include:

• The Ergo
• The Mei Tai
• The Mobi Wrap

If you reasearch on Wikipedia.org, you can find the following information, courtesy of several articles compiled there.

• Mothers' oxytocin is increased through physical contact with the infant, leading to a more intimate maternal bond, easier breastfeeding and better care, thus lowering the incidence of postpartum depression and psychosomatic illness in the mother;^[2] similarly, the father carrying the baby has benefits for the paternal bond.

• Infants who are carried are calmer because all of their primal/survival needs are met. The caregiver can be seen, heard, smelled, touched, tasted, provide feeding and the motion necessary for continuingneural development, gastrointestinal and respiratory health and to establish balance (inner ear development) and muscle tone is constant.^[3]

• Infants are more organized. Parental rhythms (walking, heartbeat, etc.) have balancing and soothing effects on infants.

• Infants are "humanized" earlier by developing socially. Babies are closer to people and can study facial expressions, learn languages faster and be familiar with body language.^[4]

• Independence is established earlier.^[3]

• Attachment between child and caregiver is more secure.^[5]

• Decreases risk of positional plagiocephaly ("flat head syndrome") caused by extended time spent in a car seat and by sleeping on the back. Sleeping on the back is recommended to decrease the risk ofSIDS. Cranial distortion resulting from non-vehicular time in car seats has shown to be more severe than in children who develop plagiocephaly from back-lying on a mattress.^[6] Concern over plagiocephaly has also led the American Academy of Pediatrics to recommend that infants “should spend minimal time in car seats (when not a passenger in a vehicle) or other seating that maintains supine positioning."^[7] None of the babywearing positions require infants to lie supine while being carried. Infants can even be worn while they sleep, also decreasing sleeping time spent in a supine position.

God bless - Joe

Dude Time: Movie of the week - Total Recall (2012)

If you are expecting the same movie from years ago to simply be recreated then you will be surprised. This movie adds another level to the original story. The 2012 version is from a futuristic perspective and has been revised to include different story angles plus lots of action. Yet, if you want in depth characters or a stellar script you may be left hanging... If you want to eat some nacho's and other man food while watching a movie - this is an OK one to pass the time. This movie is NOT family friendly.

Courtesy of RottenTomatoes.com

Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he's got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life - real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police - controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world - Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. -- (C) Sony

PG-13, 2 hr. 1 min.

Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy

Directed By: Len Wiseman

Written By: Kurt Wimmer

In Theaters: Aug 3, 2012 Wide

On DVD: Dec 18, 2012

Box Office:$58.9M

Sony Pictures

Home Birth? Oh, you're one of those...

During the home birth we lit a candle. The alter was placed beside the pool where we were having the baby. As the labor neared the end, the chanting increased. The midwife summoned the spirits and sacrificed the lamb.

Seriously - the looks that I receive when I explain that we have out children at home always amazes me. None of the above is true. That is a cult. There are, to be fair, a large amount of people that accept the concept but have the "it's not for me" attitude. There is nothing wrong with that feeling. It is a real feeling to be uneasy or unsure about things you are unfamiliar with or uneducated on. 

Home birth, is just that a birth at home. There are several available options available and no weird rituals need to take place. The people whom tend the birth are highly trained, with lots of experience. The Midwife, or professional overseeing the birth, supports from a distance while the natural event happens. Please note that I am not opposed to a hospital. Everything has its place and even home births can be halted and transported to a hospital if things are not going problem free. There is no rushing around at home. You can birth in any almost any position that is comfortable. As a father - the best part was actually being able to comfort my wife and most importantly catching the baby.

Aside from sending lots of pro statistics your way I propose this: Consider that birth is not a condition to be treated where a body does know what to do. I challenge you to research the case. If you want a good show to watch you could watch the Business of Being Born. It is bias towards home birth but is very interesting. In addition I am always open to responding to comments or emails.

God Bless - Joe

Paid Maternity and Paternity Time

The idea of a male in the work place being accredited with being a dad, more so than a pat on the back or congrats is hard to come by according to a recent article on Shine. The article looks at a work life balance of men in the work place vs. women and a combination of the two. The subject has been a nag to me for some time so I thought about taking a once over through the subject. During the creation of this article and post I have adapted some thoughts along the way. In addition I have updated the petition to reflect both parents since I see an overwhelming amount of emails that are also stating that unpaid maternity leave is also a concern. In creation I was looking from an egocentrical (self view). I have since adapted the petition and views to reflect both parents whom should have the ability and financial means to bond with a child at the time of birth.

Women perform a very hard task of carrying the child and then bringing it into this world. I would never discredit that physically a mother endures much more than any man will understand. However, I challenge that a mother and a father should be entitled to substantial amounts of paid time off to care for his or her young one for bonding time. The culture should consider that if the desired effect is a present man and or woman in a child’s life then the allowance needs to be made for that bonding time after birth. Not to mention that in today's world there are many single dads and mom’s stay at home dads. There are many more than when this type of legislation started and companies adopted the concepts. Imagine a family bonding after the newborn comes into this world vs. jumping right back into the hustle-and-bustle of the accepted normal demands. The US needs to update PATERNITY and MATERNITY leave statuses to reflect modern times and follow suit with other countries.

While the US does protect up to 12 weeks unpaid leave with the use of FMLA it does not guarantee any form of pay which at this point in parenting is essential in the event that the parents are not using any other forms of public assistance. 

Special interest groups challenge traditions all the time. Make a change. Visit the petition that I have started on www.Change.org. Start the movement HERE.

Re-post, Tweet or Share on Facebook. 100 Votes gets this recognized for further consideration.

Failing (Forward!)

While watching the outcomes of the election this year I heard a phrase that I like. Regardless of who I prefer in an election, I do like, and always have liked, the thought of "Forward!" Popularized by President Obama, I think that this plays a large part in our lives as parents. In fact, there is a popular John Maxwell book entitled Failing Forward. 

The concept is this: Learn from the present and adapt. Take the so called failures and use them towards our advantage. This is more than a "learn from your mistakes" concept. Own the failure and adapt. Make a plan on what you want to happen. Take that plan and perform against it. Check the results from the plan you performed. Make some adjustments and start the plan again. This is not a science, but a business proven model to continually improve the results. If we were to simply acknowledge a mistake and take a completely new path then you are essentially starting over. If you were to do nothing and continue the pattern that lead to the failure then you are insane, as indicated by Albert Einstein. (His idea of insanity was to perform the same actions expecting different results.)  

Adapt. Fail Forward!

God Bless - Joe

A whole nation with hunch backs.

"Don't stand too close to the TV," my parents would holler. They were convinced that it was bad for your sight. That proved to be somewhat true, which you can read here, but not the entire story. What about today? What things now will be myths now, and maybe true later? The fact remains, that even though there is not an entire case behind the alleged TV being bad for the eyes - there is a certain generation that will never forget that. You may even pass that along to your kids.
I propose that we begin a stressing to our young ones that too much time on your smart device is bad for your posture and will make you hunch later in life. Seriously, look at the posture of most youth when texting or Facebooking. First of all many people, not just kids, pull out their devices at any given chance. Whether it is at dinner, on a date, sitting and waiting, or just bored looking for something to do - out pops the device. Swipe.. swipe... swipe... tap... tap...tap... In addition to that, remember the fundamentals of posture? When is the last time you seen that in conjunction to a smart device?

For some reason when I imagine what the future would be like my mind drifted to the movie Wall-e, where people are severely overweight since they are on mobile chairs. Granted, the phones will not make you over weight, but they can aid in poor posture. Take a moment and watch the people around you and how they sit or lounge while on their device. If you agree, do like mother did... tell them it is bad for your posture and you will become a hunchback. Pass it along!

God Bless - Joe

Cutting Costs - Electronics & Media Edition

There are several ways to cut costs in life. Not every cost cutting approach is best for you. Everyone has a different reason for the priorities they have chosen to uphold. For example, getting rid of a cell phone may be a great idea for me, but for you who travels 50% of the time it may not be a good choice. Below, I have outlined a handful of cost cutting ideas. Many are popular (sorry for the overkill) and others well - may not be of any interest or use to you. Happy savings!

Cable TV
With Cable TV rates so high consider cutting back on the costs. Several options do exist that will allow you to stay somewhat connected to the world.

• Hulu & Netflix - Hulu is an online service that is free if you watch from your PC or $8 a month for streaming access. Hulu has many of the popular network shows available for streaming the day after it aired on television. This also makes it very useful if you would normally DVR (Tivo) anyway. Netflix is an online streaming movie company where many movies are available to watch. You can get a free trial to Netflix here or Hulu Plus here.
• Other streaming options include Justin.TV, or if you search there are many free event specific streams (sports etc.)
• Over the air signals have gotten an added emphasis with the conversion to digital from analog signal. The quality has also improved. You could look on CriagsList, your local retailer or eBay for the conversion box (if you have an older TV) or antenna to catch the waves.

Cellular Phone
Society has so much of a demand for communication now, that a cellular phone is labeled as a necessity in some "basic needs" lists. I would challenge that, but thought that I would show a few options. (Of course, the cheapest way is to go without.)

• Safelink Wireless is an income based FREE cellular phone program which you would have to see if you qualify for.
• TracFone is a cheap alternative to a monthly bill but you do not get a lot of minutes up front. However, the phones are cheap to purchase and it is very easy to get started.
• Other Carriers - Most major carriers offer an option. You can go to the cellular phone section of your major retailer and see several available options (based on area/region).

Buy/Sell/Trade
There are a lot of items that I am not going to go into specifics on but wanted to share a good list of options where you can  save in general.

• Thrift Stores - GoodWill, Salvation Army and other Thrifts are good options for many items you may be looking for. Many major retailers (including Target) donate unsold merchandise.
• CraigsList is a good place to search for a particular item that you are looking for. You can also list items for sale, to trade, barter or "wanted."
• FreeCycle.org is a good online group (hosted mostly by Yahoo! Groups) where you offer items via email group. You can Offer an item or post a Wanted to your local group. There are some restrictions but there are a lot of items that people donate to the group for free.
• Facebook often has groups associated with this as well. 

Software
Several free options to major software are not available for little or nothing. Below I have a few items of choice that I use, or have used.

• Linux is an operating system that is mostly free. Linux Mint, Ubuntu to name a couple are excellent options for the end user. With the GUI system (graphical user interface) almost anyone can use these two Linux based systems. The GUI that both of these use offer the basic Windows style look and left/right clicking like Windows. You no longer have to know command lines to operate the systems. Dell even offered Ubuntu as an option for consumers who purchased a particular brand of PC at one time. Do not worry - with the operating systems and available software you will have almost the same options (but different names) as you would with Windows. Most of those options also allow you to save in your familar formats such as *.xls, *.doc, *.mdb etc.
• OpenOffice is a free office software package that is much like Windows Office. The same saving options are available as well as a unique set for the software if you wish. 
• Other options include Google Docs which is the future of some software. The software is used in "the cloud" and operates pretty much like your current office software. Granted, there are exceptions but for most users this is an acceptable alternate. Not to mention that Google did what it does best - integrated it with each of its platforms. 

Computers

• To find a good deal on a PC consider shopping at GoodWill, Craigslist or your local news paper. Be careful and test the units prior to purchase. I have found a good computer for basic use for around $20 - $50 dollars. FreeCycle.org has a PC available once in awhile.

Books and Media

• The Library in your local area will have many of the most popular books, books on tape, videos (DVD's), magazines, as well as some eBooks for FREE.
• Amazon.com offers free books for the kindle (.mobi) as well is the leading source for used cheap books if you need the traditional hardcover/softcover. 
• The Gutenberg Project also has free books for download. Many of which are classics.
• Pixels of Ink has free or cheap books for the kindle.

Other ideas (not categorized)

• Rechargeable batteries are a good option for electronic devices especially if they consume a lot of energy. The up front costs are significantly higher but at $6+ a pack, you will break even in two to three uses. 

Granted that several of the options above fit into various categories. Bottom line is everyone should research every purchase prior to purchase. Do you need the new version or a new item? Could a "hand me down" work? Is there a business that specializes in the item that I want and maybe can get a deal on it? Cutting costs can be difficult but it does not have to be painful

God Bless - Joe

Dude Time: Movie of the week - Prometheus.

Prometheus is the prequel to Aliens. It had been some time since I had seen the movies but thought that this looked like a good flick in itself. As it would turn out, I was right. The amount of coordination in this story to fit the series was well noted. (Right after finishing this, I started watching the first Aliens again.) Other than the amount of modernization such as what computers were thought to look like in the future from a 1979 perspective to a current view of "future," the movies flow.

However, you could just watch this movie even if you have no direct interest in the Alien series. I think Prometheus could be a stand alone feature.This is NOT a family feature and is for you and your "Dude Time."

The movie was voted at 73% in favor courtesy of RottenTomatoes.com. Ridley Scott, director of Alien and Blade Runner, returns to the genre he helped define. With Prometheus, he creates a groundbreaking mythology, in which a team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a thrilling journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.

Silently leading can be misleading

At a young age children kids will say and do the darndest things, which also stems from a show hosted by Bill Cosby. The things that they say may seem to be no big deal while they are little but remember that they will grow up. "What is not cute at 3 will not be cute at 13," my wife says to me.While on break at work one day I started to think about, what is called in the business world as, Silent Leadership. Silent Leadership is the type of leading, managing or supervising a person or situation where your lack of attention to a detail can actual send the wrong messages.

Consider a younger child and how we may take certain phrases or actions into consideration for their age. A three year old that hits or is mean to animals. A eight year old that continuously destroys his or her things. Or quite possibly a two year old that says "I don't like you." First - if you have older children - what would you say if the older child said that to you? "They're a kid...just let them be." This may not always be the case. By not acting at early stages in some cases we often let seeds grow that will be much harder to address later. The Silent Leadership, or lack of leadership, is accepting of the behaviors simply by doing nothing at all. As the child grows so does the forest that was planted prior. Behaviors are the fruits of seeds planted long before.The same theory would apply to sin. Most hideous sins as an adult do not start out grotesque but simple. In no way am I proposing that taking a piece of gum at the store at age two will end up at prison, only that we should take heed to much more than some do.

God Bless - Joe

Me time.

Growing up is a relative term. I think it has a paradox hidden deep within the word. Consider the young child who becomes the adult before they should. A movie that sticks with me, while watching my kids, best says it.

J.M. Barrie: [watching George react to the knowledge that his mother is seriously ill] Magnificent. The boy is gone. In the last 30 seconds... you became a grown-up.
~Finding Neverland courtesy of IMDB.com

One day we will wake and it will be lost. We will have to grow up to some point, but there is a nagging part that sticks. There is a piece of you that will demand a portion of day or time for yourself. It quite possibly may be the football game that is during your kids birthday party or maybe it is more complex than that. It could be the time you wish to "let it all hang out" when the children are in bed. There you could tuck the you away into a box and be care free, well unless the children wake... and the bubble bursts while you watch the me time flow down the drain.

I would propose that you find several outlets and do not rely on one for your self identify. Along with the normal nightly routine consider an adaption - a more flexible option. Maybe you could read a book, for example; flexible and adaptable to most situations.Write a blog that could be a continual work in progress or start a journal. Also, consider altering your time of day. Maybe an early rise works better than a up late.

It will not always work out in your favor. I am so sorry to admit that to you, nor will that feeling subside. However, it is all a matter of perspective my friends. Do not let your lack of personal time and exhaustion be shed upon the ones who are too young to realize. Do not make them grow up. Let the rightful child take their time getting there...