I have five small children and at times, I have struggled. There have been days where we have more "have nots" than "haves." However, having a large family is a beautiful thing with an investment for years to come. Herein, I will discuss life, things we have learned (or are dealing with) and also suggestions for others. Hopefully I can shed a male perspective on family life as well as other things a dude can encounter as a father.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Moving Blogs

I have enjoyed starting to blog again. It is a fun thing and I hope you enjoyed the blog. I have moved locations to another blog based on the audience and topics that I enjoy. If you wish to continue to read my tid bits of randomness, I will still be writing. You may hop over here.




There you can sign up via connect, gmail, email or if you have another idea - I will add the widgets so anyone can review.

Best wishes - Joe

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Don't feed the bears

It is a simple concept really. We have all heard someone talk about it, a cartoon poke fun at it, or have viewed a park sign exclaiming it. "DON'T FEED THE BEARS!" They are not cute and cuddly as Teddy has been depicted for years. They are actually creatures that are predators nearing the top of their food chain which kill, even people, when threatened or encountered in the wrong setting(s). The truth about feeding bears is that you are simply saying,"Hey, come here for food." The animals will repeat with reward. Pavlov had an entire scientific breakthrough with this.

So Joe, how do bears have anything to do with ME? Everything. We are creatures that take the least path of resistance. We will take the solution where we have to exert minimal effort for maximum reward if left to our sole unintelligible desires. We will call the person who gives us the answers. When is the last time you borrowed money from the same person... and then again... and so on. Going deeper: did you have something that was not "good" or "legal" but was satisfying and available?

Or perhaps the XYZ Store at the mall has a sale every week and they give you rewards when you visit them good for the following week. They do not even have to do that. The retailers have also been paying attention. Each week - like clockwork - they have a new ad. New specials. Come to the campground. But what happens when suddenly the food stops. The sale has loop holes. The money is not there. The "good" thing is not available. We change - often for the worse. (If you have ever worked in retail, you get it.) The things being offered are not there, yet we arrived. WE ARRIVED - now where is it? Give it to me! I paid for blank blank blank and expect blah blah blah.

We are all bears. Please stop feeding us.

I have another article along the same topic involving silent leadership which is very similar but deals with lack of action vs. rewards.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Young Bird Dogs

There will be many things that come your way in life that sound great. So great, in fact, that you want to jump on the idea. The next step is the defining moment. A bird dog in his or her career (well it is) faces this same thing every hunt but the defining moments are based on the age, training and overall experience of the dog. The younger bird dog will go after the first set of birds and then if another set were to raise jump at those losing some control in the situation. Everything is an opportunity worth hunting! The older bird dog takes a group and patently stalks until the right opportunity. The veteran is not distracted until the right moment - regardless of other set backs along the way, such as a neighboring group stir...

We too, do this. Sometimes the most amazing offers will come your way. It is OK to pass if it does not feel right. It will not be the only thing amazing to every happen to you again. The house that seems perfect but a little out of your range, is just that - out of your range. Whatever your situation, remember the "new" will fade. Once that does - would it still be the right decision?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Doctor Syndrome

Consider your audience. Regardless if it is your colleagues, subordinates, family or children. We have each had an experience of going to the doctor and during the diagnosis this long Latin / scientific verbiage spews from their lips... A doctor could scare you into thinking that a hang nail is a terminal condition. Doc, just tell me I have a cold - it's going to suck, my throat is sore, and some bacteria is in my nose; and hopefully that I will be fine after this...and that... I trust you regardless or how you say it as long as you help me in the right direction.

How do you encourage others or explain things? Are you perceptive of their situation? Do you consider the environment or scenario when conveying the message? When a child asks a question do you break it down so they can understand? Are you sensitive to the situation if need be? When they are hurt because they did something that they shouldn't are you the comforter first, then the corrector?

I have found myself guilty of forgetting the who and where I am when dealing with the what.

God Bless - Joe

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Swishy Pants and a Fishing Pole

Do you have an event in your childhood that stands out and now when something triggers it a flood of memories stream through your mind? I have two really. One of mine will always be snow; sledding down the hills at my Grandparent's house. I had the "swishy" coverall pants that you could get some distance in. I remember I would step back from the hill and then jump sliding down on my knees or rear end. I ruined so many sets of the coveralls that way. I used a sled too - but that was missing something :).

I also remember falling asleep on the long car ride to the lake that my father picked out. We would get to the dock and set the boat in the water while it was still dark. I remember floating on the shore casting along the banks by the docks until the sky would change. The pink and orange colors on the horizon are still very vivid in my mind. The cold water on the fishing lines and the dew on the boat.

What memories are you sharing now that later will be memory triggering events? It does not have to be Disney World or even an expensive vacation. In fact, I do not remember any of that stuff. When I think of my childhood and search for what joys I remember as a kid - that is it. Simple.

"Today is yesterday's tomorrow." ~ Anon.

God Bless - Joe

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Parental Fashion Curse

I had a pair of JNCO's. OK that was a tiny fib... I had several. Including the 42" around the feet ones that two people rightfully could have worn. I even "sagged" my pants a little. By a little I mean I shown my boxers a bit and let them (the pants) ride on my hip bones before tightening my belt. I wore black. I was gothic. I wore make up. Yes that even included black nail polish. I am tattooed, with my first inking at age 16. What the hell was I thinking? I know now, what my parents felt like.

The 80's should have never been. Boys wearing girls jeans is not cool. Tapered jeans and ginormous shoes are seriously sick... and by sick I am not referring to the modern lingo that someone used to create a paradoxal meaning or some odd sense of an oxymoron calling it "freedom of speech." I think every parent will live this curse. Just saying...