Moving Blogs

I have enjoyed starting to blog again. It is a fun thing and I hope you enjoyed the blog. I have moved locations to another blog based on the audience and topics that I enjoy. If you wish to continue to read my tid bits of randomness, I will still be writing. You may hop over here.

http://the-cause-and-effect.blogspot.com/

or

http://thecauseandeffect.tk/

There you can sign up via connect, gmail, email or if you have another idea - I will add the widgets so anyone can review.

Best wishes - Joe

Don't feed the bears

It is a simple concept really. We have all heard someone talk about it, a cartoon poke fun at it, or have viewed a park sign exclaiming it. "DON'T FEED THE BEARS!" They are not cute and cuddly as Teddy has been depicted for years. They are actually creatures that are predators nearing the top of their food chain which kill, even people, when threatened or encountered in the wrong setting(s). The truth about feeding bears is that you are simply saying,"Hey, come here for food." The animals will repeat with reward. Pavlov had an entire scientific breakthrough with this.

So Joe, how do bears have anything to do with ME? Everything. We are creatures that take the least path of resistance. We will take the solution where we have to exert minimal effort for maximum reward if left to our sole unintelligible desires. We will call the person who gives us the answers. When is the last time you borrowed money from the same person... and then again... and so on. Going deeper: did you have something that was not "good" or "legal" but was satisfying and available?

Or perhaps the XYZ Store at the mall has a sale every week and they give you rewards when you visit them good for the following week. They do not even have to do that. The retailers have also been paying attention. Each week - like clockwork - they have a new ad. New specials. Come to the campground. But what happens when suddenly the food stops. The sale has loop holes. The money is not there. The "good" thing is not available. We change - often for the worse. (If you have ever worked in retail, you get it.) The things being offered are not there, yet we arrived. WE ARRIVED - now where is it? Give it to me! I paid for blank blank blank and expect blah blah blah.

We are all bears. Please stop feeding us.

I have another article along the same topic involving silent leadership which is very similar but deals with lack of action vs. rewards.

10 Turkey Leftover Ideas

I did not have a lot of time this week but thought that saving money while making your holiday meal go further would be beneficial!

1. Next Day Turkey Soup
2. My Crispy Mashed Potato Pancake
3. Tastes Like Thanksgiving Casserole 
4. Hot Turkey Sandwich
5. Creamy Parmesan Turkey Sauce With Country Ham and Peas
6. Crispy Turkey Bacon
7. Cajun Turkey Pot Pie
8. Spicy Turkey Soup with Yogurt, Chickpeas, and Mint
9. Turkey and Mashed Potato Potpies
10. Turkey, Sweet Potato, and Watercress Salad

Young Bird Dogs

There will be many things that come your way in life that sound great. So great, in fact, that you want to jump on the idea. The next step is the defining moment. A bird dog in his or her career (well it is) faces this same thing every hunt but the defining moments are based on the age, training and overall experience of the dog. The younger bird dog will go after the first set of birds and then if another set were to raise jump at those losing some control in the situation. Everything is an opportunity worth hunting! The older bird dog takes a group and patently stalks until the right opportunity. The veteran is not distracted until the right moment - regardless of other set backs along the way, such as a neighboring group stir...

We too, do this. Sometimes the most amazing offers will come your way. It is OK to pass if it does not feel right. It will not be the only thing amazing to every happen to you again. The house that seems perfect but a little out of your range, is just that - out of your range. Whatever your situation, remember the "new" will fade. Once that does - would it still be the right decision?

Doctor Syndrome

Consider your audience. Regardless if it is your colleagues, subordinates, family or children. We have each had an experience of going to the doctor and during the diagnosis this long Latin / scientific verbiage spews from their lips... A doctor could scare you into thinking that a hang nail is a terminal condition. Doc, just tell me I have a cold - it's going to suck, my throat is sore, and some bacteria is in my nose; and hopefully that I will be fine after this...and that... I trust you regardless or how you say it as long as you help me in the right direction.

How do you encourage others or explain things? Are you perceptive of their situation? Do you consider the environment or scenario when conveying the message? When a child asks a question do you break it down so they can understand? Are you sensitive to the situation if need be? When they are hurt because they did something that they shouldn't are you the comforter first, then the corrector?

I have found myself guilty of forgetting the who and where I am when dealing with the what.

God Bless - Joe

Swishy Pants and a Fishing Pole

Do you have an event in your childhood that stands out and now when something triggers it a flood of memories stream through your mind? I have two really. One of mine will always be snow; sledding down the hills at my Grandparent's house. I had the "swishy" coverall pants that you could get some distance in. I remember I would step back from the hill and then jump sliding down on my knees or rear end. I ruined so many sets of the coveralls that way. I used a sled too - but that was missing something :).

I also remember falling asleep on the long car ride to the lake that my father picked out. We would get to the dock and set the boat in the water while it was still dark. I remember floating on the shore casting along the banks by the docks until the sky would change. The pink and orange colors on the horizon are still very vivid in my mind. The cold water on the fishing lines and the dew on the boat.

What memories are you sharing now that later will be memory triggering events? It does not have to be Disney World or even an expensive vacation. In fact, I do not remember any of that stuff. When I think of my childhood and search for what joys I remember as a kid - that is it. Simple.

"Today is yesterday's tomorrow." ~ Anon.

God Bless - Joe

Parental Fashion Curse

I had a pair of JNCO's. OK that was a tiny fib... I had several. Including the 42" around the feet ones that two people rightfully could have worn. I even "sagged" my pants a little. By a little I mean I shown my boxers a bit and let them (the pants) ride on my hip bones before tightening my belt. I wore black. I was gothic. I wore make up. Yes that even included black nail polish. I am tattooed, with my first inking at age 16. What the hell was I thinking? I know now, what my parents felt like.

The 80's should have never been. Boys wearing girls jeans is not cool. Tapered jeans and ginormous shoes are seriously sick... and by sick I am not referring to the modern lingo that someone used to create a paradoxal meaning or some odd sense of an oxymoron calling it "freedom of speech." I think every parent will live this curse. Just saying...

Baby Wearing (babywearing): Hands free!

It is painful to put a child on your back or chest. The discomforts can be seen by both the man and child in this picture. Obviously, by the strain on their faces, they must be miserable. Such an odd concept, wearing your children - horrific.

The idea of baby wearing has been around for some time. The modern Western Culture tends to prefer a stroller or even the car seat aka "baby bucket." Many other countries in the world prefer this method and some cultures treat this as a very natural occurrence  it is just the way you do things.

For mothers who are breast feeding this can be a very good way to nurse your newborn or child. Depending on the carrier, and your comfort, many are built to allow nursing in any setting [although it should be acceptable to nurse anywhere anyway ;) ].

In no way does the wearing of a child set you back, or de-civilize you. It actually can be very useful and comfortable; not to mention that the bonding time from being held (attachment parenting) is amazing. As a father, some of my best trips out have been carrying / wearing my children. There are a variety of options as well. The most versatile would be a wrap form - such as the Mobi listed below; I prefer the Ero, myself.

To the right, in my widget scrolling - you can see several examples of carriers or click below.

They include:

• The Ergo
• The Mei Tai
• The Mobi Wrap

If you reasearch on Wikipedia.org, you can find the following information, courtesy of several articles compiled there.

• Mothers' oxytocin is increased through physical contact with the infant, leading to a more intimate maternal bond, easier breastfeeding and better care, thus lowering the incidence of postpartum depression and psychosomatic illness in the mother;^[2] similarly, the father carrying the baby has benefits for the paternal bond.

• Infants who are carried are calmer because all of their primal/survival needs are met. The caregiver can be seen, heard, smelled, touched, tasted, provide feeding and the motion necessary for continuingneural development, gastrointestinal and respiratory health and to establish balance (inner ear development) and muscle tone is constant.^[3]

• Infants are more organized. Parental rhythms (walking, heartbeat, etc.) have balancing and soothing effects on infants.

• Infants are "humanized" earlier by developing socially. Babies are closer to people and can study facial expressions, learn languages faster and be familiar with body language.^[4]

• Independence is established earlier.^[3]

• Attachment between child and caregiver is more secure.^[5]

• Decreases risk of positional plagiocephaly ("flat head syndrome") caused by extended time spent in a car seat and by sleeping on the back. Sleeping on the back is recommended to decrease the risk ofSIDS. Cranial distortion resulting from non-vehicular time in car seats has shown to be more severe than in children who develop plagiocephaly from back-lying on a mattress.^[6] Concern over plagiocephaly has also led the American Academy of Pediatrics to recommend that infants “should spend minimal time in car seats (when not a passenger in a vehicle) or other seating that maintains supine positioning."^[7] None of the babywearing positions require infants to lie supine while being carried. Infants can even be worn while they sleep, also decreasing sleeping time spent in a supine position.

God bless - Joe

Dude Time: Movie of the week - Total Recall (2012)

If you are expecting the same movie from years ago to simply be recreated then you will be surprised. This movie adds another level to the original story. The 2012 version is from a futuristic perspective and has been revised to include different story angles plus lots of action. Yet, if you want in depth characters or a stellar script you may be left hanging... If you want to eat some nacho's and other man food while watching a movie - this is an OK one to pass the time. This movie is NOT family friendly.

Courtesy of RottenTomatoes.com

Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he's got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life - real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police - controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world - Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. -- (C) Sony

PG-13, 2 hr. 1 min.

Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy

Directed By: Len Wiseman

Written By: Kurt Wimmer

In Theaters: Aug 3, 2012 Wide

On DVD: Dec 18, 2012

Box Office:$58.9M

Sony Pictures

Home Birth? Oh, you're one of those...

During the home birth we lit a candle. The alter was placed beside the pool where we were having the baby. As the labor neared the end, the chanting increased. The midwife summoned the spirits and sacrificed the lamb.

Seriously - the looks that I receive when I explain that we have out children at home always amazes me. None of the above is true. That is a cult. There are, to be fair, a large amount of people that accept the concept but have the "it's not for me" attitude. There is nothing wrong with that feeling. It is a real feeling to be uneasy or unsure about things you are unfamiliar with or uneducated on. 

Home birth, is just that a birth at home. There are several available options available and no weird rituals need to take place. The people whom tend the birth are highly trained, with lots of experience. The Midwife, or professional overseeing the birth, supports from a distance while the natural event happens. Please note that I am not opposed to a hospital. Everything has its place and even home births can be halted and transported to a hospital if things are not going problem free. There is no rushing around at home. You can birth in any almost any position that is comfortable. As a father - the best part was actually being able to comfort my wife and most importantly catching the baby.

Aside from sending lots of pro statistics your way I propose this: Consider that birth is not a condition to be treated where a body does know what to do. I challenge you to research the case. If you want a good show to watch you could watch the Business of Being Born. It is bias towards home birth but is very interesting. In addition I am always open to responding to comments or emails.

God Bless - Joe

Paid Maternity and Paternity Time

The idea of a male in the work place being accredited with being a dad, more so than a pat on the back or congrats is hard to come by according to a recent article on Shine. The article looks at a work life balance of men in the work place vs. women and a combination of the two. The subject has been a nag to me for some time so I thought about taking a once over through the subject. During the creation of this article and post I have adapted some thoughts along the way. In addition I have updated the petition to reflect both parents since I see an overwhelming amount of emails that are also stating that unpaid maternity leave is also a concern. In creation I was looking from an egocentrical (self view). I have since adapted the petition and views to reflect both parents whom should have the ability and financial means to bond with a child at the time of birth.

Women perform a very hard task of carrying the child and then bringing it into this world. I would never discredit that physically a mother endures much more than any man will understand. However, I challenge that a mother and a father should be entitled to substantial amounts of paid time off to care for his or her young one for bonding time. The culture should consider that if the desired effect is a present man and or woman in a child’s life then the allowance needs to be made for that bonding time after birth. Not to mention that in today's world there are many single dads and mom’s stay at home dads. There are many more than when this type of legislation started and companies adopted the concepts. Imagine a family bonding after the newborn comes into this world vs. jumping right back into the hustle-and-bustle of the accepted normal demands. The US needs to update PATERNITY and MATERNITY leave statuses to reflect modern times and follow suit with other countries.

While the US does protect up to 12 weeks unpaid leave with the use of FMLA it does not guarantee any form of pay which at this point in parenting is essential in the event that the parents are not using any other forms of public assistance. 

Special interest groups challenge traditions all the time. Make a change. Visit the petition that I have started on www.Change.org. Start the movement HERE.

Re-post, Tweet or Share on Facebook. 100 Votes gets this recognized for further consideration.

Failing (Forward!)

While watching the outcomes of the election this year I heard a phrase that I like. Regardless of who I prefer in an election, I do like, and always have liked, the thought of "Forward!" Popularized by President Obama, I think that this plays a large part in our lives as parents. In fact, there is a popular John Maxwell book entitled Failing Forward. 

The concept is this: Learn from the present and adapt. Take the so called failures and use them towards our advantage. This is more than a "learn from your mistakes" concept. Own the failure and adapt. Make a plan on what you want to happen. Take that plan and perform against it. Check the results from the plan you performed. Make some adjustments and start the plan again. This is not a science, but a business proven model to continually improve the results. If we were to simply acknowledge a mistake and take a completely new path then you are essentially starting over. If you were to do nothing and continue the pattern that lead to the failure then you are insane, as indicated by Albert Einstein. (His idea of insanity was to perform the same actions expecting different results.)  

Adapt. Fail Forward!

God Bless - Joe

A whole nation with hunch backs.

"Don't stand too close to the TV," my parents would holler. They were convinced that it was bad for your sight. That proved to be somewhat true, which you can read here, but not the entire story. What about today? What things now will be myths now, and maybe true later? The fact remains, that even though there is not an entire case behind the alleged TV being bad for the eyes - there is a certain generation that will never forget that. You may even pass that along to your kids.
I propose that we begin a stressing to our young ones that too much time on your smart device is bad for your posture and will make you hunch later in life. Seriously, look at the posture of most youth when texting or Facebooking. First of all many people, not just kids, pull out their devices at any given chance. Whether it is at dinner, on a date, sitting and waiting, or just bored looking for something to do - out pops the device. Swipe.. swipe... swipe... tap... tap...tap... In addition to that, remember the fundamentals of posture? When is the last time you seen that in conjunction to a smart device?

For some reason when I imagine what the future would be like my mind drifted to the movie Wall-e, where people are severely overweight since they are on mobile chairs. Granted, the phones will not make you over weight, but they can aid in poor posture. Take a moment and watch the people around you and how they sit or lounge while on their device. If you agree, do like mother did... tell them it is bad for your posture and you will become a hunchback. Pass it along!

God Bless - Joe

Cutting Costs - Electronics & Media Edition

There are several ways to cut costs in life. Not every cost cutting approach is best for you. Everyone has a different reason for the priorities they have chosen to uphold. For example, getting rid of a cell phone may be a great idea for me, but for you who travels 50% of the time it may not be a good choice. Below, I have outlined a handful of cost cutting ideas. Many are popular (sorry for the overkill) and others well - may not be of any interest or use to you. Happy savings!

Cable TV
With Cable TV rates so high consider cutting back on the costs. Several options do exist that will allow you to stay somewhat connected to the world.

• Hulu & Netflix - Hulu is an online service that is free if you watch from your PC or $8 a month for streaming access. Hulu has many of the popular network shows available for streaming the day after it aired on television. This also makes it very useful if you would normally DVR (Tivo) anyway. Netflix is an online streaming movie company where many movies are available to watch. You can get a free trial to Netflix here or Hulu Plus here.
• Other streaming options include Justin.TV, or if you search there are many free event specific streams (sports etc.)
• Over the air signals have gotten an added emphasis with the conversion to digital from analog signal. The quality has also improved. You could look on CriagsList, your local retailer or eBay for the conversion box (if you have an older TV) or antenna to catch the waves.

Cellular Phone
Society has so much of a demand for communication now, that a cellular phone is labeled as a necessity in some "basic needs" lists. I would challenge that, but thought that I would show a few options. (Of course, the cheapest way is to go without.)

• Safelink Wireless is an income based FREE cellular phone program which you would have to see if you qualify for.
• TracFone is a cheap alternative to a monthly bill but you do not get a lot of minutes up front. However, the phones are cheap to purchase and it is very easy to get started.
• Other Carriers - Most major carriers offer an option. You can go to the cellular phone section of your major retailer and see several available options (based on area/region).

Buy/Sell/Trade
There are a lot of items that I am not going to go into specifics on but wanted to share a good list of options where you can  save in general.

• Thrift Stores - GoodWill, Salvation Army and other Thrifts are good options for many items you may be looking for. Many major retailers (including Target) donate unsold merchandise.
• CraigsList is a good place to search for a particular item that you are looking for. You can also list items for sale, to trade, barter or "wanted."
• FreeCycle.org is a good online group (hosted mostly by Yahoo! Groups) where you offer items via email group. You can Offer an item or post a Wanted to your local group. There are some restrictions but there are a lot of items that people donate to the group for free.
• Facebook often has groups associated with this as well. 

Software
Several free options to major software are not available for little or nothing. Below I have a few items of choice that I use, or have used.

• Linux is an operating system that is mostly free. Linux Mint, Ubuntu to name a couple are excellent options for the end user. With the GUI system (graphical user interface) almost anyone can use these two Linux based systems. The GUI that both of these use offer the basic Windows style look and left/right clicking like Windows. You no longer have to know command lines to operate the systems. Dell even offered Ubuntu as an option for consumers who purchased a particular brand of PC at one time. Do not worry - with the operating systems and available software you will have almost the same options (but different names) as you would with Windows. Most of those options also allow you to save in your familar formats such as *.xls, *.doc, *.mdb etc.
• OpenOffice is a free office software package that is much like Windows Office. The same saving options are available as well as a unique set for the software if you wish. 
• Other options include Google Docs which is the future of some software. The software is used in "the cloud" and operates pretty much like your current office software. Granted, there are exceptions but for most users this is an acceptable alternate. Not to mention that Google did what it does best - integrated it with each of its platforms. 

Computers

• To find a good deal on a PC consider shopping at GoodWill, Craigslist or your local news paper. Be careful and test the units prior to purchase. I have found a good computer for basic use for around $20 - $50 dollars. FreeCycle.org has a PC available once in awhile.

Books and Media

• The Library in your local area will have many of the most popular books, books on tape, videos (DVD's), magazines, as well as some eBooks for FREE.
• Amazon.com offers free books for the kindle (.mobi) as well is the leading source for used cheap books if you need the traditional hardcover/softcover. 
• The Gutenberg Project also has free books for download. Many of which are classics.
• Pixels of Ink has free or cheap books for the kindle.

Other ideas (not categorized)

• Rechargeable batteries are a good option for electronic devices especially if they consume a lot of energy. The up front costs are significantly higher but at $6+ a pack, you will break even in two to three uses. 

Granted that several of the options above fit into various categories. Bottom line is everyone should research every purchase prior to purchase. Do you need the new version or a new item? Could a "hand me down" work? Is there a business that specializes in the item that I want and maybe can get a deal on it? Cutting costs can be difficult but it does not have to be painful

God Bless - Joe

Dude Time: Movie of the week - Prometheus.

Prometheus is the prequel to Aliens. It had been some time since I had seen the movies but thought that this looked like a good flick in itself. As it would turn out, I was right. The amount of coordination in this story to fit the series was well noted. (Right after finishing this, I started watching the first Aliens again.) Other than the amount of modernization such as what computers were thought to look like in the future from a 1979 perspective to a current view of "future," the movies flow.

However, you could just watch this movie even if you have no direct interest in the Alien series. I think Prometheus could be a stand alone feature.This is NOT a family feature and is for you and your "Dude Time."

The movie was voted at 73% in favor courtesy of RottenTomatoes.com. Ridley Scott, director of Alien and Blade Runner, returns to the genre he helped define. With Prometheus, he creates a groundbreaking mythology, in which a team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a thrilling journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.

Silently leading can be misleading

At a young age children kids will say and do the darndest things, which also stems from a show hosted by Bill Cosby. The things that they say may seem to be no big deal while they are little but remember that they will grow up. "What is not cute at 3 will not be cute at 13," my wife says to me.While on break at work one day I started to think about, what is called in the business world as, Silent Leadership. Silent Leadership is the type of leading, managing or supervising a person or situation where your lack of attention to a detail can actual send the wrong messages.

Consider a younger child and how we may take certain phrases or actions into consideration for their age. A three year old that hits or is mean to animals. A eight year old that continuously destroys his or her things. Or quite possibly a two year old that says "I don't like you." First - if you have older children - what would you say if the older child said that to you? "They're a kid...just let them be." This may not always be the case. By not acting at early stages in some cases we often let seeds grow that will be much harder to address later. The Silent Leadership, or lack of leadership, is accepting of the behaviors simply by doing nothing at all. As the child grows so does the forest that was planted prior. Behaviors are the fruits of seeds planted long before.The same theory would apply to sin. Most hideous sins as an adult do not start out grotesque but simple. In no way am I proposing that taking a piece of gum at the store at age two will end up at prison, only that we should take heed to much more than some do.

God Bless - Joe

Me time.

Growing up is a relative term. I think it has a paradox hidden deep within the word. Consider the young child who becomes the adult before they should. A movie that sticks with me, while watching my kids, best says it.

J.M. Barrie: [watching George react to the knowledge that his mother is seriously ill] Magnificent. The boy is gone. In the last 30 seconds... you became a grown-up.
~Finding Neverland courtesy of IMDB.com

One day we will wake and it will be lost. We will have to grow up to some point, but there is a nagging part that sticks. There is a piece of you that will demand a portion of day or time for yourself. It quite possibly may be the football game that is during your kids birthday party or maybe it is more complex than that. It could be the time you wish to "let it all hang out" when the children are in bed. There you could tuck the you away into a box and be care free, well unless the children wake... and the bubble bursts while you watch the me time flow down the drain.

I would propose that you find several outlets and do not rely on one for your self identify. Along with the normal nightly routine consider an adaption - a more flexible option. Maybe you could read a book, for example; flexible and adaptable to most situations.Write a blog that could be a continual work in progress or start a journal. Also, consider altering your time of day. Maybe an early rise works better than a up late.

It will not always work out in your favor. I am so sorry to admit that to you, nor will that feeling subside. However, it is all a matter of perspective my friends. Do not let your lack of personal time and exhaustion be shed upon the ones who are too young to realize. Do not make them grow up. Let the rightful child take their time getting there...

What the @%$^#, you did what?

Every parent will have them. There is no use in running, or pretending, or trying to hide. The moment when you look at your lovely little creature and wonder if they were spawned vs. birthed. How could he/she have done... Oh yes, consider that a warning.

Keep your composure and try to figure out what actually happened. It often does not always happen as it would appear (most likely it will be worse than you imagined). Counting to 10 (for yourself) is very helpful too. Keep calm and talk through the situation. There are really very few situations where you have to pull out the he-man-ogre tone and growl. That time will come but save it for effect when it is truly needed. There are basics to communication that we should visit along with how to walk through the situation.

• Keep calm. 
• The moment that you lose your cool the tears will start taking this down another path
• If tears start prior - show some comfort but have a hesitant distance as you investigate.
• Ask "what happened?"
• Decipher as needed
• Ask questions...(put the badger away... they are kids)
• Ask "why did this happen?"
• There is usually a good reason in a kids mind for the actions he/she performed
• Just go along with the story so you can get the beginning, middle and end
• Coach the child on the right thing to do.
• Take the child down the path showing him or her where it went wrong
• Explain why (in your nice voice) this is the correct decision or action
• Have them repeat it back to you.
• Repeating the what, where, where and correction back to you is key (in the adult world this is called 360 Communication or The Communication Cycle)
• This shows that the child retained the information

Now, so you can see how this doesn't work... and how you will most likely react when the moment arrises for the first time - read below.

 There was a period of about three days when I could swear that our kids were raised by natives, or wolves or anything that was not of my home. I went in to the bathroom for a normal relief after a long day. I am not the read a book kind of guy but was taking my time... Anyways, I noticed something on the shower curtain. "What is that?" I asked myself. Upon closer identification it was a booty wipe... someone had used the shower curtain as a piece of toilet paper. My wife and I decided that we should put up wool shower curtains (that would solve it if the culprit were to strike again).

Judging by the height we determined that it was the little one who was just learning to potty on her own. Maybe we were out of toilet paper on the roller and that was the next logical thing. We talked to her using the steps above, and felt good about the outcome. Well, that is until the next time. So when we discovered the potty-graffiti-artist had swiped again - we confronted the munchkin with a little more aggressiveness to show we were not pleased with how this was going down. While confronting her my oldest child dropped to the ground and started crying... My oldest... Now here is the part not to do... "What the hell is wrong with you?" After the initial loss of control - I regrouped and repeated the steps above.

Since those days - I have witnessed two boys using our tub as a bar-style trough urinal, a water bottle filled... and in case you were wondering the liquid waste from our body does not change the buoyancy of legos. They still do not float.

I am happy to report that the booty artist has changed professions and our lego men are not deep at sea. Good times.

God Bless - Joe

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Breasts don't have PCB's (Revised)

Below is an article that I created some time ago. I'll never forget it. It was the first article that I have written which sparked a few arguments. Those of you that know me, will understand that I share my point of view. I am not trying to necessarily persuade you but am stating my feelings based on observations and living life on both sides of the issue. I, of course, do also make some bold statements which one who would wish to argue would have to defend against. I suppose I should have taken debate - but I never saw the benefit. Well, if I would have studied Dale Carnegie at an early age maybe things would be different.

Below are two articles. One (the original, which was several years ago) and the adaption, from a more current family and male perspective.

[Original Article]

I am not an expert. Nor do I have the proper organs to facilitate the argument of this quick blog. However, while I was looking for pictures for a website that I am assisting with - I noticed something. Breast feeding is a natural function of the human female body and was the intentional design. The rest of the world and world health organization, supports breast feeding and notes the advantages. So, why have we, as Americans, downgraded human life to an expendable, form? Our animals are now considered babies by most. Our babies are considered vermin by some. After that confusion we then move to the people that actually "want" children. You can cut your baby out if you like (c-section), you can cut your baby up (abortion), you can drop your baby off at random places if you do not want them... Before I continue, I must also state that dropping your baby off is a MUCH better option in efforts of preserving life. We can hire someone to even raise our babies for us. 

So, while I was looking at photos - I just wanted to note that most people would call these beautiful... The animals are naturally performing a feeding. We will place these on public office walls, admire on our screen savers, send photos to friends, show our children, play on tv commercials.... This is a work of art divinely inspired!

I have not really seen advertisements of the animals being hand fed and that being associated with beauty. Unless, of course, it was some sort of rehabilitation. Even the little piglets are tandem nursing. Which, for those of you that do not know, is nursing more than one infant at a time. Humans turn their heads at two children nursing at the same time. The cute little pigs though are expected to nurse 7-8 in a sitting.

This is a topic that I could continue blabbing about for a long time so I will just skip the body and hit the main point.

Look at the baby's faces in these photos. The nursing vs. bottle fed. I am not even going into the health (nutrients) of feeding. Only the attachment. The bottle fed baby stares into the sky, or out into the world - no real look other than dazed. Of the 65 pages for the stock photos, I only found 1 photo of a bottle fed baby smiling at his or her mom. The other photo is of a breast fed child. How can you deny the absolute connection that the feeding shares? 

Of course then we wonder why our kids need supplements, are detached, and cannot confide in us. We fed them a replacement from birth, let them feed themselves from a replacement mother and Ferberized them for the remainder of their life. Deal with it, cry it out.





[Adaption Article]

Of course I still feel that same about what is best for a human child. I have also come to terms having seen many people on both sides of the issue that a healthy baby is best. I would give anything to see a bottle fed healthy baby over a malnutritioned child or one which endures smoke before they are even able to crawl.

This adaption is simply to pose several photos which I found bizarre. As Americans, our culture finds the next two photos to be normal, sexy and glamorous.

 

The next two people will often be asked to cover up or go to the bathroom to nurse. In some states, this is not protected, and there are even stories of women getting kicked out of places for what is shown below. Even the women who are never confronted have to brave cruel comments or criticizing looks.

 

To feed the children they are asked to go to a room, which is provided to them.

 God Bless - Joe

Addiction: I am a recovering alcoholic. (Part 1)

To this point my posts have been informational. For the most part I hope that I can share the things that I have learned, enjoyed, or some other type of "how to" that will open an idea chest for you. Yet, there will come a post when I am frustrated, overwhelmed or just tired - parenting is the most demanding job that I have known.

Somewhere along the way I found a new friend. One beer led to another and after some time I needed the contents every single day. At the peak I was drinking six to eight 16oz. beers a night. I would stumble off to sleep and not wake until my alarm the next morning. Hardly a night went by that I did not have to run to the store or that I did not feed the hunger inside. I was escaping the world for a few hours of the day which in the end cost me months of life with my family. Each drink became more normal. I lost touch with reality.

It will torture you and molest your soul. There is nothing wrong with a casual drink - even the Bible references the use or misuse of wine. Do not let yourself get to that point; the point when you forget what matters. Can you put down the drink for the evening? Do you feel hot all of a sudden and your pulse race at the thought of not drinking tonight? Would you rather spend time at the bar than your home? Do you need a friend to talk to? Or just someone to chat about this problem you are having? Alcohol is not the friend you need. There are many people in this world that care about you beyond the shortfalls of an evening inebriated.  Your family needs you. Now put on your big boy pants and sober up.

I have been sober for several months, now. At that time this would have been an impossible feat. I thank God for his continual grace and lighted way. My wife is a blessing. A song of encouragement is below.

5-S? Sounds like a !#$@#$%&* swear word to me.

This posting was originally published under another blog that I maintained. I liked the entry so I updated it and posted it here.

5-S - you may ask? What is that? More than likely it is something that you do - in many instances of your life. Clean out the clutter and put things away. 5-S stands for Sort, Straighten, Sanitize, Standardize, and Sustain. It is a part of a lean journey where the waste is removed. Directly, you may remove waste by the discarding of unused items. Indirectly, you may gain time, or make your task more efficient. Many manufacturing and businesses have adopted this process. It can also be a key to your home successes too.

Consider the following: Imagine a day that you were late for work. The alarm clock did not go off and you are frantically running around your house. The "Flight of the Bumble Bee" is playing in the background. Think about your clothes. Now, knowing that you are late - find what you need in the pictured room.

The idea of lean, which is what 5-S is a part of, is waste reduction. In this case it is time by removing all the items that you are not using. If you find that you are using all the items - great - except we must now organize. It is an art as well as a discipline. When you begin this journey in your home it will take some time to establish.

Consider small things first. Go through your sock drawer and remove all the unmatched socks. Match all the socks while you are there. Make sure your socks have a certain spot, your shirts, your jeans, your shoes, etc. Everything has a specific place. This is not the hard part by the way. The use of the system is the easy part and you will be very thankful for it when you get accustomed to it. I must warn you, the hard part, will be to put everything back the same way every time. Everything has a place, and everything in its place. Once you have the standard set - label it. Place a label that can work for everyone. Make it kid friendly too! If you set up a standard process - and find yourself deviating take a moment and revisit the process. If you place your socks in drawer 4 and your map says the socks belong in the other room - should you adjust your map? Your standard process should also be realistic, and adaptable. I caution the adaption portion - only if your plan changes the standard. If your plan does not change, and you just start adapting here and there based on "time" or "laziness" then you have broken your process and the 5-S will crumble. However, you may get to play the "Flight of the Bumble Bee" song. If you just want to hear the song, go to this site.

One of the things that we have done in our home also revolves around laundry. With seven of us piling up 1+ sets of clothes a day, the "piles" were getting out of hand. So, we took 6 clothes hampers and labeled each of them with a different type of clothing which was coordinated by laundry loads. For example, we have a "whites's", as well as "dark colors", down to "wet clothes." Each basket is about the size needed for 1 load of laundry. To help the children with this we also drew pictures and placed it on the baskets. The kids then colored them. As a family we held a meeting to go over the process together.

Here is the last visual to help you understand the effects of 5-S. Consider a word search puzzle. Consider the length of time that you spend looking for the words. The diagonal, vertical, and horizontal words that cross or share letters - even the really tricky ones that go backwards. Now if the words were already circled, or listed out in the same order or manner so they were easy to pick out - how long would that puzzle actually take? What if all the letters that were not needed, were removed?


Once you have this down, consider all of the other things that you could do? The garage, your tool box, the cupboards, etc. Other examples can be found by visiting this site of "before and after" pictures of 5-S.

God Bless,

Joe







Pictures found at:
http://lizette.i.ph/photo/d/760-1
http://webscripts.softpedia.com/screenshots/Word-Search-Game-24400.png/DSC02131.JPG?g2_GALLERYSID=TMP_SESSION_ID_DI_NOISSES_PMT

The family umbrella.

After leaving church today one of my kids did not want to listen to the rules; he wanted to run in the parking lot. Granted, there was not a lot of traffic, but that was not the point. We have rules that we must follow regardless of the circumstances to ensure that nothing would ever happen. As an adult we know not to have appliances plugged in near water - sure there may be no major harm, but it is a chance we should not take. The same way that even a skilled electrician needs to "kill the power" to a circuit he or she is working on.

My wife had an excellent idea to come home and have an activity at the table to act as a lesson. The idea was simple. Draw a picture of an umbrella and have the kids put certain things in the umbrella which represent rules etc. God provides us the knowledge and the ability to provide the rules and structure. Through faith and obedience to the rules we will remain safe under his plan. Mommy and Daddy use God's word to hold up the umbrella protecting us from all that could happen. The kids enjoyed it and we got the needed point across.

Simple instruction that could be applied to so many things.



God bless.
 Joe

Family size freak show?

I was listening to my wife and a couple other ladies talk last night about family size. One lady was from a family of eight and has 3 kids. The other lady has four children and lastly my 5 mongrels were at the same bash. They started talking about the "looks" that they receive when going into public. The comment, which stood out to me, "it is amazing how much cuter my kids become [in public] when there are only two [of five]."

Each of my children have the same mother and father. They are well groomed (heaven forbid, we have a bad day and they dress themselves). They misbehave and of course when 5 are at the same time it is a circus but it is all relative the quantity. Is it that people are amazed we can handle it? Is it terror? Seriously, I am curious. We are not the Duggar's with 19 and counting... Of course we are a little larger than the "average" and have to get a larger vehicle than most...


Seriously people, it is an investment. We look forward to the holidays when everyone is home. We have given up the exotic vacations, fancy living, and other luxuries for now in hopes that later we will be rewarded much more. I am not judging you if you only want one child. Please do not judge me if I want more than that.

Average Family Size

"For all practical purposes, the size of an average household in a nation is the same as the size of the average family. In the United States, the average household consists of 3.1 persons.
That’s a small average by world standards, but not the smallest, Sweden and East Germany both have an average household of just 2.6 persons.

Colombia has the largest average household of any nation in the Western Hemisphere, 5.9 persons. But the African nation of The Gambia has the largest average household of any country on earth, 8.3 persons!"
-http://www.bigsiteofamazingfacts.com/what-country-has-the-worlds-largest-average-family

Lastly, I charge you to leave some comments below - why do you think people give the reactions they do? Honestly. What is your ideal family size, and why?

God Bless - Joe

Free things for you or your family

So being a parent of 5 small kids is an awesome thing but does come at a cost, unless you are wealthy or are apart of that select few where "everything" always works out perfect. Most of us have chosen to fill our homes with family and that will leave little left in the bank at several points.So today I thought that I would come up with a list of things that I have found, or use that are free. Some of the lists are just items that could be used by you, and are free, but not necessarily "for the family." If you have other suggestions please leave feedback and I will add your links on this entry!

 

Free Reading Material

 

Project Gutenberg.
Project Gutenberg offers over 40,000 free ebooks: choose among free epub books, free kindle books, download them or read them online. We carry high quality ebooks: All our ebooks were previously published by bona fide publishers. We digitized and diligently proofread them with the help of thousands of volunteers. http://www.gutenberg.org/


FreeBizMag
This website gives away free magazines for sumitting information about your current job in the form of a survey. I have personally received Forbes, Information Week, Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal and more. http://www2.freebizmag.com/?ref=fbm

Lego Kids' Club
Lego also has a virtual world that a child can explore and sign up (with a parent's help) for an online magazine for free. http://club.lego.com/en-us/behindthebricks/default.aspx
 

Free Software

 

Download.com
Cnet's download website is a great site for just about any software that you could think of. Most companies or people that develop software list their trial versions or free versions on this site. AVG (virus scanner), TeamViewer (remote program), OpenOffice (free word, spreadsheet suit), and Gimp (free photo editor) are several good titles to start with. http://download.cnet.com/

If you are looking for games for kids then you should check out www.PBS.org, www.lego.com, or possibly another favorite kids' toys site.

Free Movies/Shows

 

Hulu.com
Hulu is an online site that houses streaming video for most major shows and/or networks. With an option paid service you could stream to your media box, entertainment device or HDTV. If you are like me - a quiet movie on the PC is sometime just as fine. http://www.hulu.com/

Crackle.com
Although Crackle is not as mainstream as Hulu, it does provide some unique entertainment. There are several shows on this service that you cannot find anywhere else. (Sometimes that is for a good reason). With that being said, Crackle also provides apps for your Android or iOS phone. http://www.crackle.com/

Suggested By Viewers

Nothing at the moment.

 

 Best wishes - Joe